So, most people who know me (Tara) know that I have moved A LOT. In fact it has been a joke for most of my adult life that I am a gypsy. I am somewhere for about 6 months and I just feel like I am being smothered. I try to get involved. I try to make plans. I try EVERYTHING so I can stay put like "normal" people do.
I have spent most of my adult life feeling ashamed of this. Feeling like who I am, wanting to try new things and be new places, is a bad thing. That I am disappointing people every time I just can't stay somewhere. Looking for anything and everything that could "fix" me.
Over the years I had come pretty good at finding "reasons" to move from places. Too far to drive. Snakes getting in our house (yes, it happened, for those who didn't know us then.) Janky old river house. Need a bigger yard. Too hot. I used to think it was a contentment issue. However, when I stripped away all the excuses I was still left with me.
Especially after the fire, stuff/junk/the stuff we accumulate and houses just have felt like a very confusing concept. You buy a house, spend your life working to pay for said house, while spending time NOT at said house because you are working, filling it with loads of stuff, all to come to the end of your work years and having a big empty house (or not.) You want to travel, but between doctors appointments and your health, time is limited (I'm hoping being vegan this won't be the case ;-P.) I know that this scenario works for people (obviously) but it never made sense to me.
I have always just wanted to please the people around me and most of my decisions have been based off what people (including family) would think of it. Would they be proud of me? Yes, do it. Would they be disappointed? No, don't do it. Is it the "right" way to do things? Yes, do it. I have spent my life dealing with this. Thankfully, I am only 32 and figured out that I don't have to do this.
I said when we came back to California that I was NEVER leaving again and that I was going to go down with the big one. In all honestly, I wouldn't have come back when I did if it hadn't been for personal issues. I would have still been traveling with my family. Things happened though and we came back.
Well, as you can probably guess I have been feeling restless lately. We have been considering going back on the road. This last year has been one of growth and learning about myself as well as learning about my relationship with my husband. With the death of my Dad, learning that life, as they are always saying, is too short. Things happen. Health declines. Accidents. So many possibilities. So we need to be living life the way we want to live it, as everyone should.
So, when we got notice that they are selling our rental house (and we can't afford it, or any other houses to buy or rent in Sonoma County, CA) it was that extra push we needed to really lock in our plans.
So sometime soon, this part of our plans is fuzzy because we don't know when they are putting it on the market, and I am not dealing with keeping the house clean for showing, so we will be moving out of the house back into the trailer within the next month or so. This will be for two reasons, for one they are selling the house of course, and two because we want to save up as much money as possible which is impossible paying our rent here (and the water, you know what I'm talking about Cloverdale peeps.)
Then in June 2018, after school is out, we will be heading back out on the road. Heading to Texas first to get our annual inspection on our trailer and registering our new to us truck there, since we sold the one we traveled with before and because we just love Texas and the people.
The hardest part of this decision was Austin, my oldest son. Austin with his high-functioning Autism needs a stable situation, meaning the same routine day in and day out. Traveling doesn't give him that. So, in June he will be going to live with his dad, Jimmy. This was a very hard decision because he has been with me FOREVER. When I first started thinking about how he was going to be effected by our traveling and then asking his dad if he would take him, I initially felt like maybe I was being a selfish and a horrible person. Then I realized that this was the opposite of selfish (took me a while.) Selfish would be taking him with me just because I WANT him with me. That is selfish. It will be good for him to be with his Dad, especially with him going to be a teenager next year *tears*. Plus, Austin didn't really like traveling at all. He enjoyed doing the fun things of course but overall it wasn't enjoyable to him.
Anyways, we love and cherish all our friends and family here in California and always will. California will always be "home" but my soul needs more and Josh and I want more.
Josh and the littles loved traveling and there was so much we didn't get to see and we are excited to have the opportunity to do it again.
We will be selling most all of our stuff and won't have a storage unit this time, so we will be having a big sale Labor Day weekend!
Love & Adventure,
Tara
